Season 1, Episode 15: Slam Dunkin Donuts


"Man, I hated that nun... ever since she wouldn't give me the lead in the Christmas pageant." -Liz
"To be fair, Liz, you can't have a Virgin Mary who's already made it with two out of the three wisemen." -Kate
"Oh, what can I say? They came bearing gifts." -Liz

"Our Lord did spend six hours on the cross. It seems to me you could spend thirty minutes in the kitchen... but, it's your choice." -Sister Mary-Margaret

"Sarge, I want you to turn me into a lean, mean, one-chin fightin' machine!" -DiResta

"Remember, you can't spell 'victory' without 'Vic!' 'Vic!' 'Vic!'" -Vic

"You can't spell 'father' without 'fat!' 'fat!' 'fat!'" -DiResta

"You know what Sister? For as long as I have known you, you have never let anybody have any fun, so for once in your life, why don't you just pretend it's the seventh day and give it a rest!" -Kate

"Are you asking the church to sanction gambling?" -Sister Mary-Margaret
"Yeah, like the rhythm method isn't the world's biggest crap shoot...." -Liz


Written by Bob Daily, Directed by John Tracy